Jamaican Patties

OK, so the pace has slowed considerably at Kitchen Studio, most recently due to the premature death of Kurt's fryer. The fryer was lain in state so that all of our fans could pay their last respects, but it wasn't until Christmas morning that a new one took its place. So we welcomed in the new year with a new fryer and an indescribably delicious batch of Jamaican [pork and] veggie patties.

Though we used a pastry dough recipe for Jamaican beef patties, the filling was comprised simply of leftover roasted vegetables and pork, which we sauteed in butter with some vegetable broth, bread crumbs, and curry powder. The result will go down in Kurt + Amy Deep Fry Shit history, and may even give the legendary Jamaican beef patties of Troy, NY a run for their money. The trifecta of butter, shortening, and fry oil made this our greasiest, if not our tastiest, venture to date.

Speaking of money, in this economy who's a former pageant winner with physical therapy training, a keen understanding of subprime mortgages, and a white running back husband gotta sleep with to get her son on a flag football team? This question and many more inane ones can only be answered in Lifetime's The Client List, starring Golden Globe nominee Jennifer Love Hewitt, which provided the evening's entertainment. Of course, since the taping of this episode, we have learned that Claire Danes took the award*, practically stealing it right out from under J. Lo-Hew, whose dedication to her role was so fierce she didn't even remove her fake eyelashes when she went to sleep.



*Editor's note: This is horseshit.