K+ADFS presents Daytime Nights: Oktoberfest Frybeque!

Welcome to the first webisode of Kurt + Amy Deep Fry Shit: Daytime Nights, our new spin-off show, which is identical to traditional K+ADFS, save for being recorded before the sun goes down. So if you're a fan of Kurt and Amy doing all the things we normally do AND day drinking, then this is the show for you!

For the inaugural webisode we decided on a German theme, but eschewed the potato pancakes (don't worry, they're coming soon!) to focus on pretzels instead. And a fine decision that was as the pretzels surely would have been as guilty of stealing the spotlight as Sally Field in Smokey and the Bandit... but I digress. Check it out and see for yourself.

Quick disclaimer: this video contains embarrassingly lame sexual innuendo and foot-long dough ropes.

We thank Smitten Kitchen for the immensely successful pretzel recipe that held up to the DeLonghi better than our wildest dreams. We'd also like to thank Lena, Isaac, and Paul for making that snappy new intro possible.

Polenta Three Ways, or Three Mitigated Disasters

For tonight's episode we thought we'd bring you polenta three ways: polenta sticks, a polenta "pipe bomb" (store-bought polenta tube stuffed with a mozzarella stick), and sweet polenta bread. This amounted to a menu equally ambitious and untested, and flying, recipe-less, by the seats of our pants resulted in more than one fail. So we're saving most of the footage for the blooper reel (which you'll find on the extra features disc of our DVD box set).

Nonetheless we emerged from this cornmeal mire with two successful ventures. First, the polenta-wrapped mozzarella was achieved by salvaging some of the stove-top polenta we made for the polenta sticks, letting it set up a bit, and then coating it generously around a mozzarella string cheese stick. The end result strongly resembled a Twinkie, but was far more delicious. Second, we dug deep into the K+ADFS archives to salvage the sweet polenta bread. Just as we did to resuscitate our fried Christmas cookie endeavor, we had to coat this dough in oats to prevent it from disintegrating in the oil.

Super Bowl XLV Frytacular

Well another first weekend in February came and went, and another Super Bowl party is in the books. I considered this one my finest to date, and Amy was sporting enough to drop by with the HD Flip. She caught the first 3 quarters of a great game, and captured what turned out to be the highlight of the evening and a Kurt & Amy premiere: Deep Fried Brie.

Good lord my hair was long. The menu also included such classic fry party fare as frickles, frites, and mac & cheese (2011. Mixed Media on Children of the World Plate)

To editorialize once again, the question was posed: why should I buy a deep fryer? Actually it was posed twice since we took this video, once by Il Buono Dottore, and once by Mrs. Amy's Mom herself. I pointed out that both of them should be reading my blog, but I'll indulge the rest of you.

1) It takes up less counter space than a toaster
2) Most deep fryers have a spigot for easy oil storage
3) Cleanup is a snap
4) Accurate Temperature control means less fat in your food
5) A good deep fryer doesn't cost as much as you think

Just look at all these satisfied customers.

Jamaican Patties

OK, so the pace has slowed considerably at Kitchen Studio, most recently due to the premature death of Kurt's fryer. The fryer was lain in state so that all of our fans could pay their last respects, but it wasn't until Christmas morning that a new one took its place. So we welcomed in the new year with a new fryer and an indescribably delicious batch of Jamaican [pork and] veggie patties.

Though we used a pastry dough recipe for Jamaican beef patties, the filling was comprised simply of leftover roasted vegetables and pork, which we sauteed in butter with some vegetable broth, bread crumbs, and curry powder. The result will go down in Kurt + Amy Deep Fry Shit history, and may even give the legendary Jamaican beef patties of Troy, NY a run for their money. The trifecta of butter, shortening, and fry oil made this our greasiest, if not our tastiest, venture to date.

Speaking of money, in this economy who's a former pageant winner with physical therapy training, a keen understanding of subprime mortgages, and a white running back husband gotta sleep with to get her son on a flag football team? This question and many more inane ones can only be answered in Lifetime's The Client List, starring Golden Globe nominee Jennifer Love Hewitt, which provided the evening's entertainment. Of course, since the taping of this episode, we have learned that Claire Danes took the award*, practically stealing it right out from under J. Lo-Hew, whose dedication to her role was so fierce she didn't even remove her fake eyelashes when she went to sleep.



*Editor's note: This is horseshit.