Kurt + Amy's Very Special Holiday Deep Fry Christmas Special

Nothing says Christmas quite like warm, homemade cookies fresh out of the... deep fryer? Join us on our bold journey to create a deep-fried Christmas cookie. Will we revolutionize the world of holiday baking? Or fall face first in a dough of our own making? There's only one way to find out. Special guest stars Marina and Charlie Brown lend a hand!

Forgive us... it's a montage

If the preposterously clumsy doughnut-making sequence was not enough to quench your fry party thirst, then we invite you to feast your eyes on this montage of frymania. Obama had just won the election, and we were on top of the world. And when you think you're invincible, well, sometimes bad things happen [to fall into your deep fryer]. So here is the highlight reel, also known as the blooper reel.

Viewer discretion is advised.

The Doughnuts and Friends Show

A recent deep fry party provided the perfect opportunity to debut homemade doughnuts. Doughnuts (or Olde Tymey Doff-Ghnouts, as we've created) aren't the kind of things you just stumble home drunk one night and fall into. It's the sort of thing you plan well in advance to get drunk and do. Believe it or not, this was our first attempt at doughnuts, and they came out pretty f'ing great. The key is the oil temp (375) and not over-mixing the batter. Other than that it's just a matter of getting the batter off your fingers and into the oil in a usable shape, which you can practice time after delicious time.

Props to Amy on the title sequence. And the Communist Party t-shirt. Next up: theme song. Reader submissions will promptly be thrown away. This post is kind of a complete shit show, I think half the video is me looking for baking soda. Spoiler alert: I found it. I'm going to put a poll up later to see who enjoyed the glamor shot of me eating raw doughnut batter off of my fingers.

Mac & Cheese

Part of our mission in creating a deep fry blog is to offer creative options for reheating your leftovers, and to that end we bring you deep fried mac and cheese. We know what you're thinking: mac and cheese is already so delicious and decadent in its natural state, why deep fry it? Well, for one thing deep frying is exponentially better than microwaving your leftovers. We used Paula Deen's recipe for The Lady's Mac & Cheese (her words, for the love of god, her words; not ours), but substituted the more robust cavatappi pasta for elbow macaroni. We sliced our leftover mac and cheese into squares and coated them in flour, egg, and breadcrumbs: the deepfryer's holy trinity. The end result is a crispy, creamy, cheesy delight.

I have to give even madder props to Amy. I'm blown away by the even sweeter title sequence. Someone's getting comfortable with iMovie. Sorry for the lame and pointy intro in the video. I was really...um, punchy. I'd like to go over a few more points from the video that I wish I could've expressed a little more cogently. First, the appropriate recipe. Don't feel you need to recreate Ms. Deen's concoction, but disregard anything made by the Kraft Corporation, and kindly unhand the Velveeta. I've never tried deep frying either of these types of Mac & Squeeze, but I would presume that they goop up real good and have a hard time staying together. Thanks to our dedicated Italy Consultant Marina for the interesting (and inaudible) tidbit on Cavatappi. And 349 is not in fact a multiple of 7 (unless the thermostat starts at -1). Luckily there isn't a math prerequisite for deep frying. I don't in fact know what system of numbers leads my deep fryer to think 347 degrees is an appropriate increment. I think it's a Fibonacci Sequence or the digits of pi.

Finally, let me address my controversial plea for America to buy deep fryers with sincere apologies. What is in that glass? But in all seriousness, people say to me "I would weigh 300 pounds if I had one of those," but it's not necessarily true. First, as I said, some healthy recipes just call for poaching or frying in oil. You can of course try this in a pan and guess as to the proper temperature with unpredictable results, then throw away that expensive oil when you're done. It's far more economical, however, to use an instrument that takes the guesswork out and allows you to reuse your frying medium. And let's face it, unless you're running an international Ponzi scheme, you probably don't need to be spending a small fortune on oils. And if you're worried about gaining weight, just don't use it too often. I only use it for a regular meal a few times a month (but when I do need it, nothing else will do), and only for late night snacking every few weeks or so.